After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
