Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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