Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
