i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
