I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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