When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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