My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
