My pussy is not your playground.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
