I didn't shave. On purpose
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
3 2 1 whiskey
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
