Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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