It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize