Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
