no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
