Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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