Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
