god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
