Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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