I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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