I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize