is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
