If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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