According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
