Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
