you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
