Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
no you cant smoke seaweed
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
