your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
