In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
