How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So. Much. Porn.
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