question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
