i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
