just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
