Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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