Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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