At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
