I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
