i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
