I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
