Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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