we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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