Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
