so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
