Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His hands were made for my vagina.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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