He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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