I wanna bring you to show and tell
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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