If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wear drunk well.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
