Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
