but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
