My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
