I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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