Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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