I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
