and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
