I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
