ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
