i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
