yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
