the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently the secret to your success is patron
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
