she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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