The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
