My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
