He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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